We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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