i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
