Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
