Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If that was your dad, he is hot
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Randomize
