worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My life is pants optional.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
