did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
