You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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