Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
