I'm eating all of the evidence.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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