i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
