I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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