I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
