I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
