Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
