Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
