i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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