Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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