were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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