It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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