We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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