You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
