this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
