garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
