Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am available for nakedness
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
