im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
