I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is wine microwaveable?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
