A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't think brook has ever known best
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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