I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
