doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
