lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i think i have two assholes
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
