did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just blew my weed a kiss
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
