Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
