I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
this is an emotional support booty call
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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