their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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