On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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