She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just tell him i said nine months
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
