We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
