Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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