We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think a kid would responsible me up
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
