doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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