there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
