they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
