Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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