Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
