I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
