writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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