hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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