cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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