Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
