We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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